lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
