Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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