I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Randomize
