ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
