i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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