3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
