i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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