so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
