I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
