I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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