I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
this is an emotional support booty call
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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