I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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