Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Randomize
