just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
