I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
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