"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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