Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
she looked like the before picture.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Randomize
