I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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