so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
