will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
