Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
