I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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