I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize
