Where is the hickey?
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
