So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Randomize
