Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
thus making me awesome and them whores
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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