Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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