great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
