Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize
