We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Randomize
