Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
