Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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