I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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