I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
