Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
