I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
