Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize