Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
