I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Nobody cheats on THIS.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
