Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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