I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
