It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I believe in your delicious
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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