I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Randomize
