tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
