I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
