no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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