I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
