You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
