Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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