I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
