My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize
