My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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