Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
