So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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