I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
It was a blind-side dick pic.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
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