Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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