go do what you do best...puke behind churches
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
