my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
