I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
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