I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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