I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize